I I was planning on writing a more extensive update, but I am emotionally drained from a recent email exchange with Mac. I am tired. I am tired of this debacle having such a negative affect on so many people's lives. I tired of waiting for some sign of hope. I am tired of Mac droning on and on how he cares and how hard he works. I am tired of Macs animosity toward me as I attempt to get to the truth and help him and the lenders...
My intent now… after years
of defending Mac, both personally amongst friends, other lenders, people in the community and to the various investigators and prosecuting entities and
to the grand jury... essentially giving him time to prove himself and opportunity to start
paying back his debt... I plan to recommend to the court that Mac be removed from
society as a part of the consequences to face. While this decision has
created a higher level of animosity towards me and does not help in paying back his lenders, I
think it necessary to help break the delusion and allow for some sense of justice. If I believed there were any chance of Mac righting his wrongs through the course he is on, I would think otherwise. I think it is time to get real.
I think about Sophia and my heart
aches as she is the most sweet and innocent of victims in this. I don’t want her to see her father in
jail, but worse yet is for her to think that her parent could act in such a
manner…illegally and unethically…and have it be “ok”. It is seriously NOT ok.
The spread of delusion needs to end.
The truth is that this
movie was the birth of delusion and deceit… not innocence. It has become like the ring in
the Lord of the Rings – this "precious” has an gotten a bizarre grip over people
leading only to terrible ruin. Ruin of relationships, finances, time… on
multiple levels – personally and for our state of Vermont and even on a federal
level. Millions upon millions has been squandered, hundreds of thousands more
continue to be spent through hard earned tax money on a state and federal level in legal pursuit.
Mac's other creative ventures - the book series - can bring in some money, but not even close to millions. Mac can write in jail...maybe even easier with less distractions...
On a very personal
level - I think of what good my $80K could have brought and instead wasted… it
makes me sick. I am not mad as I choose to not go there...at least not for very long. But I do not blame
others for getting mad. I just want my involvement in this craziness to do some
good…somehow. For me, I want in part, to shine a light on delusion. Being
human, we all suffer from delusion to some degree, but what we are witnessing in this,
is delusion at a dangerous level. I hope that somehow this ordeal, will allow
us opportunity to learn from it and as a society find ways to identify and
treat it sooner… It is crazy to live a life in delusion. It is even greater
madness for us to not deal with it for what it is.
The following can indicate a delusion:[6]
1. The patient expresses an idea or
belief with unusual persistence or force.
2. That idea appears to exert an
undue influence on the patient's life, and the way of life is often altered to
an inexplicable extent.
What I believe happened with Lou and Mac is a shared delusion.
There is a medical definition for this as well.
This is what I received back from Mac today:
" in my experience with
you, your capacity for clear self-reflection and civil behavior is shockingly
limited."
